


That one superhero coffeeshop AU

by Mozzarella



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, M/M, Superheroes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-19
Updated: 2014-11-19
Packaged: 2018-02-26 06:48:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2642120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mozzarella/pseuds/Mozzarella
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As the title reads! Answer fic on tumblr, the prompt being:</p><p>Nwalin, superheroes, coffeeshop. </p><p>Or the one where Nori is a thief who is also sort of a superhero and Dwalin is his self-proclaimed superhero nemesis and unknowing coffee shop customer crush.</p>
            </blockquote>





	That one superhero coffeeshop AU

**Author's Note:**

> I think I pretty much summed everything up :)) An ask box answer fic that kind of bloated into more than the short drabble I intended it to be.

"Out with the pumpkin spice, in with the peppermint. Farewell, my dear friend." 

"D'ya really just dump the pumpkin spice the day after Halloween? Doesn't that seem a bit wasteful?"

"No, of course not. The manager tells me to get rid of it, I bring as much of it home as I can carry in my pockets. And I have very big pockets." 

Bofur laughed heartily as Nori continued. 

"Ori loves the stuff. Dori's kind of gotten used to me bringin' home the shitton so he puts it in his tea. While the rest of the world enjoys their capitalism-flavored toothpaste drinks, we get to live off its delicious, unsellable bounty."

"No rest for the wicked, eh, Nori? Oh the great red thief, stealing gold and jewels by night, stealing pumpkin spice by winter."

"It's not stealin' if they're just gonna throw it away."

"True. You got some surplus fer a friend?" 

Nori threw him a package as the bell rang open for the first customer of the day (Bofur didn't count, he was more of a nuisance than a real customer, Nori would often say). Nori had to push the hatted man out of the way to welcome the man who'd fast become his favorite visitor.

* * *

 

Dwalin, his name was. And Nori wouldn't have gotten even that out of him if not for a bit of artful prying. He didn't seem too keen on opening up, but not for lack of interest. Oh no, Nori could see he was interested. The man was an open book, stuttering and grumbling his way past Nori's flirtatious attempts.

And that wasn't even the best part.

Oh no. Not even close.

* * *

 

The city had its fair share of heroes. One of the more famous teams included the Company, each member called the Khazad. They were a unit, a good team for when greater threats came calling (including that one memorable battle with the dragon Smaug), but when things were quiet in the city, they'd all be off doing their own version of crime-fighting—or in the Red Thief's case, crime-committing.

Not all the members of the Company were strictly _heroes._ They were branded so when they fought Smaug, but of the thirteen in the group, only five were original members.

The rest were a hodgepodge of people with special gifts. The Librarian, for example, catalogued and observed the goings-on in the city—their in-house communications man with a gentle voice and a love of knitting. His brother, plainly called Silver, was a retired strongman of a hero who'd gone back into fighting crime once he figured out he was too close to everything to actually leave.

Plus there was that thing he had going on with one of the Company's senior original members, but nobody was allowed to talk about that for fear of getting their skulls crushed.

The Toymaker was their in-house tech man, a jovial fellow with an alarming-looking hat. People often thought his civilian identity involved him just taking the hat off, Clark Kent style. They never figured he'd just trade it in for a different hat.

His brother was called The Barrel—an apt name for someone whose superpower involved barrelling into his enemies at alarming velocities. And with his size, he did some damage. And being in a well-managed superteam meant he could eat them out of house and home and they could replenish stock easily.

Their cousin, the Axe, was a war vet who fought hard and well. A right berserker, though a kind and gentle man outside of the field, who communicated in gestures that were not quite sign language, and enjoyed actually creating toys for children on his off days—all at Bofur's toy shop, which was placed strategically across the street from The Ri Tea-house and Café.

The rest of the team was a family of heroes, one of the oldest in the city. The Durins were famous for their role in defending the city for decades, the team only growing with offshoots of the line and powers spreading through descendants.

They were some of the few heroes in the city without civilian identities, their names and faces known to the public—at least, such was the case for Thorin and his nephews, Fili and Kili. As for their cousins, well—though their names were public knowledge, their faces, in the very least, were kept out of the papers.

Which was all the better for Nori when Dwalin walked into the shop every morning, confident that he wouldn't be recognized by the general public.

The funny thing about being an honorary member of a superteam was that, unlike the core members, they had no obligation to divulge their secret identities. So as it was, Dwalin didn't know who the infuriating Red Thief (who he firmly believed didn't deserve Khazad status, despite his role in defeating Smaug) actually daylighted as, and Nori delighted in baiting him everyday with a strategic flutter of eyelashes here and a decided lick of the lips there.

Dwalin sputtered and stuttered whenever it happened, but beyond the embarrassment, he'd give a warm little smile, one that made Nori's heart melt.

He never smiled at the Red Thief like that. Never had any reason to. If they weren't team-mates, then they were nemeses, at least in Dwalin's books.

He didn't know what he was willing to give up in the end—their enmity, which brought him such enjoyment, or his smiles.

* * *

  


That morning, Dwalin wasn't smiling. He was fuming, though his expression warmed when he saw Nori.

“Ah, I never really liked the peppermint,” Dwalin muttered as he looked over the menu.

“Let you in on a little secret,” Nori said conspiratorially, “the pumpkin spice is still available for special customers.”

“Oh, aye? And am I a special customer, then?”

“The most,” Nori said with a wink. As he prepared the drink, Dwalin shifted his weight from one foot to another—a sign of anxiousness, though Nori couldn't for the life of him figure out why.

“Do you want to go out?” he blurted suddenly, when Nori brought his drink to the counter.

“I mean... that is... do you want to go out with me? On a date? Sometime?” Dwalin clarified, blushing adorably and warming Nori more than the shop's heating did (especially so early in the day).

“You sure about that? You don't know me that well. I might be trouble,” Nori teased, though deep down, he wanted Dwalin to understand what he truly meant by it.

“Ah, well,” Dwalin said, flashing an almost predatory grin. “Who says I don't like trouble?”

Nori returned the grin with a sharp one of his own, and Dwalin frowned suddenly, narrowing his eyes as if something just occurred to him. Nori dropped the smile immediately, his eyes wide.

“Somethin' wrong?” Nori said cautiously.

Dwalin took his drink, the smile slowly returning. “No,” he said simply.

* * *

  


That night, the cold had Nori considering taking a break from his jolly theft for the season. It was much too cold for any decent person to be out at night on the streets and up on rooftops, and Santa-style heists were just so cheap these days.

Just like clockwork, the Khazad called The Soldier was on him, chasing him over rooftops as he jumped further and faster than the admittedly agile and determined hero.

“Aren't ya cold in that?” The Soldier called, taking the Red Thief by surprise.

“You worried about me, soldier?” he called back teasingly.

“Is being out here really worth the frozen fingers? Haven't you considered takin' a break from causing trouble, at least for one holiday?”

Nori grinned behind the mask.

“I've considered it!”

“Maybe you'll finally find the time to sleep before yer shifts,” The Soldier replied, and the Thief froze.

“What...”

That was all it took for the hero to catch up to him, gripping him by the shoulders. The struggle landed them both, with a crunch, on the slush, softening the landing Nori had on his now-aching back.

Nori blew his hair out of his eyes and sighed. “Gonna arrest me now, hero?” he said bitterly, knowing that he'd just lost the one asset he'd had keeping at least part of his relationship with Dwalin civil. He knew. He'd figured it out, and if Nori hadn't been so stupid—

And Dwalin was kissing him.

Kissing him?

It was a short kiss, a cautious one, more of a question than anything.

“Maybe instead of an arrest, I could just keep ya out of trouble for the time bein',” Dwalin said behind his Soldier mask. “Personally.”

“What'd you have in mind?” Nori said breathlessly.

“Much of the same,” Dwalin said. “You can take up my evenings much as you please. But with proper dates instead of a chase, eh?”

Nori smiled brightly. “Maybe a little chase?” he suggested.

Dwalin returned the grin. “Maybe a little chase,” he said, and this time, it was Nori who kissed him—longer, and harder than the one he'd started with.

“But no more stealin'!” Dwalin said firmly.

Nori just laughed heartily, and kissed him again.

Even lying down in a foot of snow, Dwalin somehow still managed to keep him warm.

 

 


End file.
